In my upcoming book, Between Friends: Sharing, Healing, Transforming, a group of friends share their stories about an event that changed their life in a meaningful way. These events contain both positive and negative aspects that the women must navigate individually and as a group.

Their stories demonstrate that events whether joyful or painful shape how we see ourselves and the world around us. These events leave an emotional “imprint” that our brains and bodies remember. The event can be held as an image in our mind, a sound or perhaps a song, a smell, a taste or a touch.

For example, a nurturing experience can build a sense of safety and trust, while betrayal or loss can seed self-doubt or guardedness. Over time, these emotional imprints influence what we expect from others and how much hope or fear we carry into new situations.

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

What’s important is the meaning one attributes to these experiences. How will you weave your experiences—especially painful or confusing ones—into the larger story of who you are and how the world works?

Will you interpret the events in a destructive manner through fear, shame or hopelessness? Will you decide you’re a failure, not good enough, unlovable, or that the world is cruel and unfair? If you do, you will only increase the chance of narrowing your life story and reinforcing pain and suffering in your life.

Or will you reinterpret the same events through curiosity, compassion, or growth? Will you realize that humans make mistakes, that struggles reveal your inner strength, or that loss can reveal what truly matters in life? Sometimes these reinterpretations take time to achieve, but they help us to integrate the events into our life story rather than being defined by them.

Moment of Reflection

Do yourself a favor today and take a quiet moment to reflect on an event — large or small — that changed you.

Ask yourself:

• What did this experience teach me about life or love?
• What story did I tell myself at the time of the event, and what story do I tell myself now?
• Has the meaning evolved as I’ve healed?

You might write, pray, walk, or simply breathe your way into the answer. Sometimes meaning isn’t found in words, but in the peace that follows understanding.

Closing Thought

The events that shape us are not always the ones we choose. But when we reflect, they become our greatest teachers.

Life keeps rewriting our stories — not through what happens, but through the meaning we attribute to what happens.

Meaning is the bridge between pain and purpose, between memory and becoming.

So please think about what story you are writing today. And if you want, share it with us here so we can grow together.

In Love and Light,

Denise